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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Comments

So Jared, I'm still settling in on your blog, but I was intrigued by your post about kids. I was actually married (to a woman!) for ten years and have three kids so you caught my attention. Anyway, I wondered about how old you guys are because it seemed you might be ahead of yourselves in your thinking.

Tim

he is a school teacher and he bought you a vintage Mercedes Benz along with owning a house in San Fran and a Hummer.
Is it me reaching or did I miss something?

Jared darling, nobody here is qualified to advise you about having kids or not. Yes, kids are a lot of work, but in the long run, well for me, they've always been rather worth it. But it's yours and Nathan's choice really. Good luck on that love.

Cheers.

Children can be a challenge or a source of great happiness. With Nathan's experience you're already ahead of the game but ultimately its a decision you and Nathan will make. Meanwhile, enjoy life and all it has to offer. I'm sure there are new adventures waiting around the corner.

weren't you the one who was worried about who'd be taking care of you when you get older...ring a bell?

My BF & I went back & forth for years. After 23 years I think I finally made him see that kids just don't fit into our "let's go to NYC for the weekend", "let's blow some cash on something frivolous", "let's change careers every 4 years" lifestyle.

Naked Nick

I think Naked Nick's post just shows how a lot of people's desire to not have kids centers around immaturity and a hope to never grow up. However, when you're fifty and alone...well...kids may be difficult sometimes, but they are a godsend and an absolute delight at others. I just can't sit idly by when people say they don't want kids because they poop, are angry teens and expensive. All that does is show that you don't know anything about what being around kids is actually like...

Sorry. Not about kids. The fetish events are nothing to be embarrassed about. I wish I could do them! They are experiences in your life. Embrace the moments.

Sorry. Not about kids. The fetish events are nothing to be embarrassed about. I wish I could do them! They are experiences in your life. Embrace the moments.

Jared, your blog was listed as one of "10 dirty blogs we love" along with an interview with Trent from pinkisthenewblog.com in the last edition of Freshmen mag. That's probably why you're seeing new people like me on your site.

And to Mike's comment above: I get so tired of queens who criticize us queers who have no interest in children and say we're selfish or immature. When I was 20 my mother had twins, so I've been around kids. I've changed dirty diapers and babysat. I've read bedtime stories to plenty of kids. And I can certainly say I don't want to raise a child. Why is that so hard for some people to understand? Everyone is different and you need to respect that. However, I always say "never say never" so I will keep the door to children open and maybe when I'm 40 I'll change my mind. But I SERIOUSLY doubt it.

to joe: the vintage mercedes was bought as a wreck and restored by nathan's hands. it is his hobby and the way he makes a little extra $$. jeff owns the hummer not nathan. and yes a teacher can own a home in sf when there are two other guys who bought in :)

to tony: yup that was me. this is not the answer though at least for me.

to patrick: what the fuck! really! they listed my blog!

Having kids is a major decision. While I would love to hear about you and Nathan eventually adopting, there is nothing worse than a parent who didn't want to be one. Fortunately, you have options. One being that if after time and discussions you both still remain at odds with this, Nathan could look into fathering a child with a lesbian single or couple. That way he could have a child and be involved in its life and you could be as in or out of the picture as you wanted. And SF is the perfect town for that kind of set up.

Hey J, another noob to the cause, The I part of the we that is D and me is considering children, it is something that I would love to do but adopt rather than natural child birth, one because I would not like to put the mother (surrogate or otherwise) through the pain of being separated from her child nor would I put a child through the pain of finding out that he-she was a surrogate child.

So I would like to adopt a child, as part of a gay couple, D in the past has said that he didn't want to become a parent, although I have seen him around children he is a natural at it. I guess that is because at the end of the day you can "hand them back" as he said once. I am not like that with other people's children, it is my own child I would be like that with and I don't care if they scream at night, I would rather be a stay at home dad for two months then Jnr. and I would go into work together and so on, D wouldn't be able to do that because of the way his work is the children are in a different area to where he is.

As for schooling, I have to admit I am not 100% sure about this one, part of me thinks do I home school to prevent the problems that society would have with the fact Jnr. would have two dad's rather than the norm of one and one? Then the other part says well there will be no point in hiding them away until they were older as they would not make friends / enemies or interact in the way as other children do. Mind you there is the whole question of faith, I wouldn't actually force that one on my son-daughter until they were old enough to comprehend what they all are.

Naturally this may be an issue for society as well since it becomes harder to pigeon hole him-her into some box when we tick the "other" box lol. I really don't have a confirmed faith any more, I am beyond religion, that's why I would let them choose for themselves when they are old enough and I would support their choice. Just like I wouldn't worry about what sexuality he-she became when they reached their teens, hetro, homo, trans makes no difference to me long as they are happy enough.

Yep lol, I have put a lot of thought into this issue over the years. I guess it goes back to the whole Straight period of my life, where we discussed kids and she was even potentially pregnant at one time. I don't think the idea of being dad ever left me, it just went to the one side for a while and now I have D, I guess it's come back.

It's nice to find someone else that has having a similar debate but on the opposing side if you like. I'll watch with interest to see how the two of you "debate" this one out...

As for the whole fetish thing, we've all got them, hell I have about 5 or 6 on the back boiler all the time... So there is nothing to be embarrassed about if anything be fcukin' proud of them!

I never, ever wanted to have kids. With every guy I ever met, I would stipulate up front that if we ever married, I would not have kids. The man I married agreed and now I am 50 and we have no kids and are happy as clams. I completely understand your position on this one. Having kids is not for everyone and it is better to know and not have them, than to go ahead and make a kid's life miserable. Stand firm with Nathan and hope he understands.

You should visit some childfree support groups on the net and learn how to clearly express your wishes of abstaining from having children.

No one should have kids out of obligation, and there's many other ways to help children in the community by teaching, volunteering and mentoring.

Childfree and happy here :)

p.s. No one should ever put the reason of "having someone when I'm older or to take care of me" as a need for kids. Your adult children won't always be there, and if there are they may be wanting YOUR support, rather than them supporting you (which is the ideal fairy tale)

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What is CN?

Way back in August 2005 I started this blog and stopped writing several years later when life got too busy. I am leaving it up for future readers to find. I post pics almost every week though as I surf the net.

It isn't really about naked pics. It is about me exposing by deepest sexual secrets and leaving myself and my soul completely naked for the world to see.

Way back in the early 2000's I discovered a need to be vulnerable and naked in front of others, whether it be in public, among other naked guys, among clothed guys, or in front of authority.

Sometimes I like to be tied down, spanked, flogged and tortured. Sometimes I like to be physically examined and humiliated by someone of authority. I am a complete exhibitionist.

I also like to see others in the same situation where I am the one clothed or the one in authority.

I am not the greatest writer in the world. Some may say I stink and that I should keep my day job. I am not writing this blog to be a writer but to record my exploration of these fetishes. Every story is as accurate as my memory allows except the names of the people I encounter and most of the pictures. The pictures in this blog are, for the majority, not me. I pulled most of them from various sites on the internet. I will give credit to the individual photo owners when I know where they came from. If you see a pic that is yours and you want to take it down just let me know.

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